I looked at my original post - around a desire to speak my truth...and this brought up an introspective question - why am I afraid to speak my truth and stand my ground?
The answer is simple - I do not want to be wrong and I do not want to fail. I am afraid to make a "bad decision" - aka the outcomes being different than what I want them to be. I do not want to piss people off when in a conflict.
There certainly is a lot of value to seeing the other person's side, showing empathy, and understanding where that person is coming from. However, this does not mean that I need to erase my perspective in the mix. There is a middle ground. My fear around messy situations and conflicts holds me back in my career and personal life from doing what I want to do in true north.
Right now, I want to start a company. I want to break off on my own and try out some of the ideas floating in my head. I am scared shitless. I am afraid I will be in that 90% of new business that fail. I am afraid that I'll hear "I told you so" from everyone around me. I am afraid that the rug will be pulled out under my feet, and I will have no support network - just a bunch of disappointed faces. I hear over and over again - "you have a safe job why would you risk it" - but I'm tired of playing it safe and not pursuing my dreams. I want to try out these ideas and see if I can make them work and my heart is ready to take the plunge.
I also want to build a family. I want to get out there and date more. I am afraid to though...I'm scared of disrupting my routine...messing with an order I have established after I pulled myself out of my last messy situation. I am also scared to open up in that level of intimacy with another person and get hurt again.
Ahh fear...I would like to make friends with you :)
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